The Free Membership Box

As you'll know if you're a Platinum, Gold, Silver or Red Member at Arsenal you eventually receive a 'free' membership box each season. I have no idea if the Diamond Club get theirs thrown in but somehow doubt it. My free box cost me a grand or so this season. The box invariably contains what the Club consider to be 'goodies' and because I don't ever recall anyone else doing so I thought I might review them for once - so that's what I've done below:

This year its a nice red solid square heavy cardboard box inscribed with some marketing bullshit that doubtless some overpaid marketing nerd was overpaid to dream up, it reads:

'I am a Fan

I am a Member

I am

Always Ahead of the Game'

Well actually no you're not ahead of the game, especially so if you rely on www.Arsenal.con for your Arsenal news updates or informed opinions. And should anyone from Arsenal be reading this I'd be quite happy to come up with some much better and vastly cheaper marketing bullshit for next season...say for the price of my season ticket.

The 2012/13 Handbook - an annual gem

On the plus side this season the box contains the 2012/13 Official Handbook which I have to say is good news personally because I regard this little gem as an excellent source of information, I usually purchase a copy and so this in itself has saved me a fiver that can now be wasted on a cheap bottle of wine. Good call Arsenal.

Then there's an Arsenal keyring, this one I actually quite like and it will prove useful one day. But then again they've given us key rings in the past so they're clearly scratching around for ideas. This comes in its own sweet little box, which is entirely useless for anything other than the keyring. But instead of throwing this box away I'll probably keep it for a year or two imagining that I'll find a use for it - and then throw it away.

There are six postcards included probably because they're both flat and cheap, five of which are absolutely fine although they wouldn't all be to my own personal choice. But one hasn't really been thought through because it includes Van Purse-strings appearing in the background of a Vermaelen goal celebration. I mean really - how difficult would it have been to Photoshop the **** out of the picture?

There's the inevitable credit-card sized fixture list. Like we've not all see the fixtures already.

There's a cheap pair of in-the-ear type headphones in plastic box which advertises ArsenalPlayer. Now if you're a member surely you're already aware of ArsenalPlayer and if you're over the age of 10 you've almost certainly already got a superior headset even if you nicked a seriously crabby set on your last  plane trip, or whatever. I can't even think of anyone I'd want to give these away to just to annoy them.

Also included is a scratch card which encourages punters to gamble on Gunnersgambling which is run by Betsson. I've not scratched my scratch card as yet, and maybe never will, but I'd be prepared to bet I'll win the £10 free bet rather than a signed shirt. But of course I'd only get the £10 free bet if I register an account. Personally I prefer alternative addictions to gambling such as alcohol. You can also win loads of poker chips for Casino, but only if you match them pound for pound should you choose to open an account. It says of course you have to be over 18 to receive this bonus, so is it just possible that this has also gone out to under 18's? I do hope not.

The original and superior Hardback version

And finally the inevitable book. I love books and I particularly love Arsenal books, but I've yet to receive one in the Arsenal Members pack that I have not already read. This season's free book is no exception. It's an abridged paperback edition of Arseblog's very wonderful 'So Paddy Got Up'. It's a good read but not as good obviously as the full Monty which I reviewed here some time back http://www.thehighburylibrary.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/so-paddy-got-up.html