John Terry - She fell over

At the Champions League Final Terry proved yet again what a total abject failure he is when it comes to decency, good taste or showing even the minimal degree of class. He even wore shin-pads FFS! For those who had the misfortune to witness these events we've enclosed some far more preferable images for you to retain in your thoughts this summer.

 Chelsea 3-5 Arsenal

Given what an absolute joke he was in the CL Final we've also enclosed a rather well-known song about him and one or two more jokes that have done the rounds:

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"Chelsea wherever you may be
Don't leave your wife with John Terry
His Dad deals coke
And his Mum steals tea
He cried when he missed a penalty.

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Chelsea wherever you may be
Don't leave your wife with John Terry
He cannot shoot, he cannot pass,
but he'll take your missus up the ass"

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Seen on Twitter: 

John Terry is going to his daughter's sports day this week.
He'll be wearing his full PE kit in case she wins.    

I've decided to take the John Terry approach to dinner tonight.
I'm going to put on my chef hat to serve up the Sunday roast after my Mum spent all day cooking it.

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Why do footballers like their wives to be tanned?
Because the darker they are, the less chance they have of getting f*cked by John Terry.

After hearing about all the racist gangs in Ukraine,
John Terry just can't wait to get there.

You know what you are

Stopped to buy a litre of diesel just now to keep my car going and handed over my card to the cashier, who said "John Terry has taken all the credit."

Busy day for John Terry. After the bus parade he's changing into a cricket kit and heading up to Lord's in case England beat West Indies.

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John Terry deserved to lift the trophy. Sitting there in the arena while resisting the constant urge to sneak into a bedroom is commendable.

John Terry says he is looking forward to lifting the European Championship trophy this summer, regardless of who wins it.

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John Terry is excited by the prospect of collecting Sir Chris Hoy's Olympic cycling gold medal this summer.

Ex-England cricket captain Michael Vaughan Tweeted: “Can’t wait to see John Terry lift the Ashes next year...”

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John Terry has been lined up to star in a new ITV drama. It's called "Other Footballers' Wives."

Ever since Wayne Bridge refused to play for England while John Terry remains captain, fans have been urging JT to try it on with Emile Heskey's wife.

Encore

At the CL Final John Terry got his kit on quicker than if Wayne Bridge had come home early

A Chelsea player is stopped for speeding at 130mph in a 30mph zone. When the police ask him to explain, he says: "I've just heard John Terry is parked outside my house."

Seems John Terry has explained he didn't mean to have sex with Vanessa Perroncel - he just slipped while he was showing her how to take a penalty.

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Apparently when John Terry announced he'd lost his England captain's armband. Fabio Capello told him to ask Wayne Bridge to check under the bed.

Whoopee

This remains one of our favourite pictures of the season

Also worth a look

Brian @Gooner48 on Twitter